Kintsugi is the Japanese art of fixing broken things so that
they are even more beautiful than the original.
This art can be seen on cracked streets, broken pottery, cracked
statues, pretty much anywhere.
If my house could speak to me it would be asking me what it did wrong. I’ve been lusting at the idea of building a new home. Over the last couple of years it has almost become an obsession… ok… not “almost”…. it was. In fact the plan has, in my mind, always been that we would eventually leave this house and build a new house. It’s been a life long dream of mine. Life long dreams are not always easy to let go of. When we found this house, I loved it with all my heart; I could see so much potential in the character that comes along with an older home. Over the years it has transformed into what I originally saw. We have created priceless memories in this house and yet, I have over the last few years spoken hateful words towards this house. The closets aren’t big enough, there’s no where to put the daily dozen shoes, if not more that pass it’s threshold. The attached one car garage is more like an attached shed, just enough space to hold the lawn mower and kids bikes. And I just cannot deal with pedestal sinks. Where did my love for this house go?
My love of houses runs deep.
I’ve loved houses since I was little.
I can still imagine the exact layout of the house I lived in until I was
12 years old. I can picture the summer
wind blowing my aunts kitchen window curtains at their house on Grandview
Avenue. My aunt and uncle are going to
be selling their house on Bartlett Drive because they are building a new one,
and I will not lie, the thought of it has caused me to lie awake crying. Not because of the actual house but because
of the memories contained within those walls.
You can show me one picture of certain rooms from houses in different
movies and I can tell you without a moments hesitation which house it’s
from. I hear the melody from home alone
literally running in my head when I walk into certain houses. I have floor plans stashed away at my
parent’s house that I drew up as a kid.
Everyone has something they are passionate about, mine just happens to
be houses. I think I love houses mostly because
of the life that is lived inside of them.
Certain houses have helped “build” me.
Side Note: If you
love houses as much as I do, “The House That Built Me” by Miranda Lambert is
worth your time.
So where did we go wrong, my house and I? I’m certain the blame is on me. My desire for more has gotten in the way of what I have right in front of me. My passion for this house fizzled as I let a dream cloud my view. I’m not saying I’m completely letting go of this dream. It just might take a bit longer than I had hoped. I think I’m ready to “Grow where I’m planted”. I’m ready to take the advice of old people everywhere…. If something is broke, fix it, not throw it away. The art of Kintsugi will hopefully be a reminder to me. This house already has my mark on it, but I’m not done, and I’m about to reignite my love for this house. Stay tuned…..
